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IG Live Week 1: IOIKT, Explained and Seasons of Change

Big thanks to our Week 1 Audience!

This being our first IOIKT Live, we didn’t know what to expect, but had such a good time and appreciated your engagement in the topic. We introduced IOIKT to those of you who are not familiar, and also talked about Seasons of Change, as we moved into some of the more gloomy months of the year, amidst a pandemic and looming election. For those of you who didn’t get a chance to watch, you can access the IG Live on our Instagram account, and we’ve shared the highlights and resources below!

-Meg and LaMonica

IOIKT, Explained

I (Meg) shared how IOIKT, “if only i knew then,” came about. A few years ago I found myself planning a wedding and a future with my then partner, but battling this internal dialogue that was telling me this wasn’t it for me. Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance, I call it a massive mind fuck. In an effort to come to terms with these feelings, I came back to writing, which was always a big release for me growing up. I began putting together short pieces that felt like advice I would give my younger self, hence “if only I knew then.” The @ioikt Instagram account felt like a good place to house these shares, and I thought followers might feel a similar release/catharsis in sharing stories or perspectives of their own. As more “if only I knew then” shares came through, the account grew more of a following and through events and occasional get-togethers, IOIKT became a community. The past year has left all of us seeking more community, so I asked some close friends and colleagues to help me build this into something more meaningful. With the help of the current board, IOIKT is now a nonprofit with much more far-reaching goals.

If you’re looking for a little inspiration to do you what is truly good for your soul, I recommend Glennon Doyle in general, but especially love her book, Untamed (which a good friend dropped on my doorstep one day and made so much sense of emotions I’d been feeling for years) and her interview on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert.

Seasons of Change, Coping Plans, and Identity Based Goals

I (LaMonica) shared some of the things I am concerned about as I move into the winter months and the coping plan I have put in place to help myself prepare. Reflecting on the past seven months of quarantine prepared me for the coming quarantine winter 2020. This is my first experience with a pandemic so accepting the rollercoaster of emotions and the anxiety I’ve learned to expect seemed crucial and I am focused on finding ways to cope. Here is what I started with:

  • Accepting the rollercoaster of anxiety and emotions

  • Building my village/quarantine partners

  • Movement/mental and spiritual health

  • How to cope and self-soothe

  • Coping Plan

Relationships will get us through

  • Spend time to get to know your values/likes

  • Open the door for meaningful/real conversations with friends and family

  • Engage with your inner child and start healing


  • Sun, water, sleep, food, connection

If you are looking for some further resources, these are a good place to start:

Being Present, Intentional, and Communicative to Off-set Loneliness

Lastly, I (Meg) discussed the difference between being alone and being lonely, and the struggles we’re all dealing with as we navigate a new way of life. Being present, remembering that the past is meant to guide me and the present is as close as I’ll ever get to controlling the future, keeps me centered. I’d recommend checking out Ekhart Tolle’s The Power of Now.

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